Written By Rick Ellis, Monday, April 22nd, 2003

What do you get when you combine Monica Lewinsky, a lonely woman looking for love and twenty guys wearing masks? Oddly enough, bad porn movie is not the correct answer.

What we do have is Mr. Personality, a reality series so bizarre that all other pretenders to the crown of "Creepiest TV Show" will tremble in it presence.

Every so often a show comes along which transcends every level of insanity. A program so off-kilter that viewing it is roughly similar to watching a slow-moving car wreck. When the cars are filled with clowns. And the cars are all Pacers. Yeah, Fox's newest reality series is just that weird. Anytime having Monica Lewinsky as the host qualifies as only the 3rd or 4th oddest component, you know you're faced with a real wack job of a TV show.

The series begins with a premise that makes sense. At least in some surreal way. Women often base their initial attraction to someone based on their looks. So what happens when you take the physical appearance out of the equation? What choice will a woman make if all she has to go on is a man's personality?

Unfortunately for our hapless bachelorette, producers decided to handle this quandary by putting 20 guys in face masks before introducing them to our lovelorn lady. While covering their faces does take some of the physical considerations out of the equation, the guys also end up looking a bit like a Mexican-league wrestling team. Watching them roam around the set, I kept expecting one of them to hit a fellow contestant with a chair and exclaim "I am El Dangeroso, who will be my next opponent?!?!"

The first episode required Hayley (our lovely sacrifice, err, lady looking for love), to whittle the group in half. She had a couple of ways of doing this. She got a short dance with each of them, they each brought her a gift they had chosen for her, and an astrologer discussed each of the men's qualities, based on a short reading.

I'm not sure how much Hayley discovered from any of these exercises, but the stunts did at least prove that some guys are too damn weird to be attractive, even when they're disguised by a mask. There was the computer tech, who always seemed about two seconds away from proclaiming "Live Long and Prosper!" Or the guy who makes his living as an NFL mascot. This piece of work picked a fight with the astrologer, snarled at other contestants, and was so angry when he was booted off that he managed to creep out even Monica Lewinsky (who has seen a lot of creeps by this point in her life).

My favorite rejected guy might have been the one who showed up with a gift for Hayley that was thoughtful and clever. At least until you looked at it closer. He brought her a scrapbook filled with pictures he said were "favorite things about my life." A smart move, until she opened the album and found page after page of photos of his dog. That's only slightly less troubling than a book filled with photos of his Mom.

Ten guys were rounded up and rejected in mass. Each contestant said good-bye, took off his mask and walked off into the sunset. Or onto an episode of "Blind Date." The lucky ten were then brought in one by one, and given a colored mask which will set them apart from each other.

The problem with the show is that it's difficult to get past the fact that you have ten guys walking around in masks. It's just damn funny to watch, which breaks whatever sort of mood that might motivate the viewer to keep watching. And if the previews are any indication, there will be the usual protests about how "hard it is to make a decision." Or how some contestants are lying about themselves, or talking trash about the other guys. Blah, blah, blah.

In fact, the only thing that might motivate me to tune in again is to see what happens with one of the chosen ten, a motivational speaker who is using sneaky psychological tricks to keep Hayley interested. Like a stalker Tony Robbins, he may not be ethical, but he does at least show why psychologists are not allowed to sleep with their patients.

As for Ms. Lewinsky, let's just say that she shows the range of hosting talent you would expect from a woman best known for servicing an ex-President. I'm sure she's a lovely gal, but it's hard for me to see what she brings to the show, or why I should care.