Five Best Lines: 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' - 09/17/2013

In the show's pilot episode, we're introduced to Detective Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg), a talented, but carefree police detective at Brooklyn’s 99th precinct who, along with his eclectic group of colleagues, are used to having a lax captain around the office. However, when tightly-wound Captain Ray Holt (Andre Braugher) takes over, he is determined to make this dysfunctional group of detectives into the best precinct in Brooklyn.

Here are the five best lines from the episode:

"I had an informant on the inside. He's been here for years...watching...learning....waiting. His code name? Fuzzy Cuddle Bear. He's a nanny-cam."

--Det. Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg), explaining to his partner how he managed to solve a store robbery.




"She's got a type...which is really anyone but you."

"Yeah, that was my ex-wife's type too."

--Det. Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio) realizes that dating fellow detective Rosa Diaz isn't going to be an easy task.




"Just go on the Internet and search for 'I want to buy two movie tickets for a girl who doesn't like me."

--Det. Boyle gets advice on how to purchase tickets for a date with Det. Diaz




"It is an amazing cured ham from Spain. They had it at my uncle's funeral. I gorged myself at that funeral. I mean, I was constipated for three days."

--Det. Boyle's somewhat creepy explanation of how a ham could sell for $6,000.




"It's over Disco Man. Put away the yo-yo and back away from the girl."

--Probably the worst line to utter when confronting a serial killer. Holding a glowing yo-yo.