8 Things You Should Know About Lifetime’s 'Flowers in the Attic' Remake

1) Kiernan Shipka is not 8 years old. She’s 14.

2) There’s incest, y’all. Just in case your mom or aunt or somebody forgot to tell you, this book is chock full of relative-on-relative action. This small little detail was left out of the first version of the movie, which angered a lot of the book’s fans. It was kind of a major plot point in the book and leaving it out was like if James Cameron had decided the Titanic didn’t really need to sink after all. So expect quite a bit of cringeworthy moments when bro and sis decide to experiment with each other.

3) Get your Twitter fingers ready. Maybe this won’t be the spectacle that was Carrie Underwood presents: The Sound of Music. But this will probably be tweeted about. I know I’ll be there. My goal is to get retweeted by Anna Kendrick.

4) It’s going to be on Lifetime. We know how you do, Lifetime. Don’t fuck this up.

5) There’s already a sequel ordered. Announced a few days ago at TCA. And yes, the book also had sequels but they weren’t as salacious, of course. Am I complaining? Hell no.

6) Heather Graham is in it. The actress best known as “Roller Girl” and "that stripper chick from The Hangover" is playing the money-hungry mom. But we do get to see her shirtless, so I’m guessing that’s part of her standard contract?

7) Grammy is creepy as fuck. In the book, in the ‘80s version, in this version. Don’t matter. This bitch be cray. We know Ellen Burstyn can do this character justice, seeing as though she’s won a Tony and a few Oscars and some Golden Globes. Did you guys see Requiem for a Dream? That movie was fucked. up. If she can pull that shit off, she can pull this off, too.

8) The flowers are fake. And that's probably a stupid literary metaphor or some bullshit like that.

"Flowers in the Attic" debuts on Lifetime this Saturday, January 18 at 8 p.m.