Review: 'Paradise Hotel'

In theory, I would be the target audience for most TV reality programs. Sure, I watch "Masterpiece Theatre" and lots of the History Channel, but I'm just as likely to watch Fear Factor or Dog Eat Dog. I spend all my day thinking, and sometimes its just good to shut off my brain and laugh at someone else's expense.

Still, I do have my limits, and Fox has managed to cross that line in its newest reality series, Paradise Hotel. If you're one of those folks who think that reality shows such as "Fifth Wheel" and "Cheaters" are boring because the contestants have too many moral hangups--then you're going to be the happiest camper in the trailer park. Because if the first couple of episodes are any indication, "Paradise Hotel" is more of a sign of the apocalypse than a reality show.

The series is set in a luxury hotel. The opening episode began with an uneven number of men and women, and everyone was expected to find a like-minded member of the opposite sex. One woman would be left over, and if she was still without at a partner at the end of the week, she would be kicked out. To be replaced by a man, who would then attempt to break up one of the couples so he would be able to stay at the hotel.

Now let's put aside the obvious moral questions raised by this format. Forget that you're essentially asking your contestants to put out to stay in the game. Forget that you're providing free food and liquor, and quietly encouraging the worst behavior in everyone concerned.

If you can get past those questions, you're still left with a slimy, often creepy format and a bunch of contestants who have apparently decided that being part of a TV show is so important that they will do ANYTHING for their brief glimpse of fame. This show has no pretense of making anyone a star. There is no career opportunity here, or chance to build an acting career. This premise is depressingly straightforward. Degrade yourself enough, sleep with anyone, do things that would make the average spring break participant blush, and we'll keep the cameras rolling.

It's easy to blame the network for all of this, but after watching a couple of episodes, it's clear that the contestants are willingly whoring themselves out for a nice hotel room and some airtime. 28-year-old Toni has already been on at least one other reality show (the only slightly creepy "Love Cruise"), and she has already demonstrated that she'll do whatever it takes to stay in the game. And she's representative of the behavior exhibited by everyone involved with the show.

For me, the saddest behavior of any contestant comes from 21-year-old Charla, who seems amazingly bright and self-aware of the situation. Some of her comments in Monday's show were so cutting and insightful that I actually began to think that she was capable of resisting the temptations of the format. She describes the men as a "bunch of 16-year-olds" and laughs when one tells her "you're one of the most beautiful women here." "Well, there's only six women here," she sarcastically observes. For one brief shining moment, I had a reason to root for someone.

But when faced with the prospect of being removed from the show, she plowed her way through the men like Pamela Anderson at an AA meeting full of rockers. In one memorable scene, she made out with one guy, then hid him in her closet when another guy showed up. They ended up sprawled in bed together, and she went on a private date with yet another the next day before ultimately coupling up with someone entirely different. She seems all too willing to pretend that it's all a bit of fun, without giving any thought to the consequences of broadcasting your private behavior to a nationwide audience.

I'm sure that the producers would make the point that it is all voluntary and it's all done with a lighthearted touch. While that's true, I'm not sure that Paradise Hotel is much removed from simply grabbing a bunch of college students and throwing them into a hotel with a couple of kegs, some condoms and a bunch of cameras.

Sure, the resulting behavior is voluntary. But if its wrong to give a 16-year-old alcohol (under the assumption they're not mature enough to fully judge the ramifications of their behavior), then maybe it's just as wrong to put a 21-year-old into a situation where a stay in a luxury hotel is tied directly to how willing you are to seduce someone....anyone.

Every TV viewer finally reaches their limit, and I've reached mine. Watch the show if you want, but when you do, look at those involved and ask yourself how you would feel if it were your son or daughter on the screen.

Just because we can broadcast something, doesn't mean that we should.